Sometimes life feels so bleak. I don’t know who to talk to,  I don’t know who would listen. I’m not sure why I am losing my friends. I wish you would listen to me.  i wish you would believe me. Who do I talk to? How do I fix myself? Sometimes I just don’t know…

Happy 2012



So my blog has had a makeover and a new home (and I soon hope to have people here too). I know my writing has been a little on the downside off late and I regret it more than anyone else. There have been time constraints, but more than anything else other things seem to have taken priority over my writing commitment. Sometimes I feel my writing needs are slowly dying inside of me. Or maybe they’ve been suppressed. There were times I wrote with an urgency and fearlessness; so sure of the words I was penning down. Now that time seems like a distant wonderland. I want to go back and though my attempts so far have been thwarted; writing is the ONE thing I’ve always always depended on and clung to faithfully and I hope to regain a grip on it again soon.

This December I was in Mumbai for a few days; for the first time I might add. I visited IIT Mumbai for their fest and also got glimpses of the city. It was a fun four day trip, the second outside-of-family trip of my life (the first one was when I was eleven so it shouldn’t count). The rest of December was spent in a LOT of life-analysis which has pretty much led me to conclude that though the thought is scary, things need to change and it is about time I took some responsibility. But before I can do any of that, I need to take some baby-steps to build my character.

I had also gone to my hometown of Dehradun in November for a cousin’s wedding and I got to meet a lot of my extended family (almost everyone) after five to six years. It was mostly a happy reunion and I couldn’t help but marvel at how different your childhood town feels when you return to it a grown woman.

We went to my grandparents’ now-deserted home and looked around. The garden is okay and still maintained but the house looked despondent and longing for a little homeliness. There was no one around; the empty rooms stung but a lot of the furniture (including everything in the kitchen) had been left just as it was. I looked through some of my nana’s old books; books that had been out-of-bound to me growing up because I had been too young for them then. But now it was okay to pick up a few. I took three though I wish I had had space for more. It hurt to see them all left there in that empty house.

So I’ve been reading those books now (I really haven’t had much time or inclination to read off late but my literary urges are re-ignited as of now). I finished Airport by Arthur Hailey. I didn’t find it exceptional. I’m enjoying Assignment in Brittany by Helen Maclnnes a lot more. It is about a British spy in France, plotting against Nazi Germans in the Second World War. I’m certainly not reading at my usual speed but I feel a little like I’m returning to my normal reading habit.

Another series I read this year was The Millennium trilogy by Steig Larsson; it was enjoyable because it was different from most things I’ve read in that it had unusual protagonists who never apologized for the way they were (a dysfunctional anti-society bisexual and a compulsive journalist) and the plot complexly revolved a corrupt country and its attempts to cover its own tracks.

My music needs have been on the low this year too. But I discovered some new songs and bands: Veronica Ballestrini, The Band Perry, Regina Spektor. Also realized how much I love certain old songs I can’t stop hearing, ever.

One of the highlights of the last two months was Prison Break. I watched most of it in the second week of December. The four season series is gripping, original, filled with fantastic plots and little mysteries, secrets and suspense and has an amazing and also slightly unexpected ending. I’d suggest it to everyone I know; no matter what genre of shows and movies you are in general fond of, you will most probably love it ( I know a couple of insane friends who don’t but don’t go by their judgement).


I also watched ALL of How I Met Your Mother; at first I couldn’t get enough of it but I will have to admit now that I still prefer F.R.I.E.N.D.S to it (though I would put the Barney versus Joey debate to rest by declaring Barney a winner; he’s cute and it is IMPOSSIBLE to take your eyes off him when he’s on screen). But HIMYM seems to have copied an awful lot of little ideas from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, despite the fact that I like HIMYM for some of its originality as well: flashbacks, themes and everything Barney.

Wrapped up 2011 with the movie Don 2 which did not disappoint.

Signing off for now and hopefully I’ll stick to my writing from here forth.