I placed my hands on the keyboard and just let go. This is what came out of me. It is called free association writing. I went back and corrected the spellings, didn’t bother with the grammar of it and at the end of five minutes, I realised I had ended up writing something optimistic. maybe because I am feeling low today, or maybe I just needed to give myself a pep talk:
To watch something grow, you have to give it time and energy and love. Nothing you work for will ever grow unless you believe in it. And you will never believe in anything unless you love it. Sometimes, to begin a quest you don’t need maps or a list or plans…sometimes something vast and beautiful can come out of chaos, and sometimes meticulousness can be devastating. If something in the universe is calling out to you and the moment seems wrong and you’re filled with misgivings about it, you need to take a little risk. Don’t put everything you have on the backburner but don’t take it all away from the thing you love either. If you can find your own balance, you’re in a zone that is comfortable for you. Some people are meant to keep shifting; their sense of belonging comes from nomadism. For others, stability lies in being in one place. If you’re rigid about something, and refuse to keep an open mind, you’re ultimately hurting yourself by not allowing your brain to go out and reach far into the cosmos for things which, albeit unreal, sing out largely into the universe, searching for a place to belong and bring happiness to you. You’re feeling confused, lost tired, don’t let go. Hold on. Feel yourself. Let yourself be embraced by the cosmos. At some point the truth will flow out of you and you will know that this is the moment you were waiting for. If you’re one with the world in which you live, you will discover what you were meant to do. If you don’t know where you’re going and what you want out of existence, realise that you’re definitely not the only one in the world who feels hurt and lost and confused. There is magic in every corner, you just need to step out of the light. Even if you do it for a millisecond, for the fraction of an hour, you’ll discover something, and if you give your whole life to it, then the day that you die, inside of you, you will know that something worked out. The sense of completeness may not touch you. Maybe it will never touch us. But something will click. Something will fit. Something will make sense. Something will find its way to the surface of your body and become one with you, maybe in that last moment. At any rate, you won’t die hopelessly. And nothing can bring that sense of achievement to you unless you’re free. Free to explore the edges of existence. The truth is, we’re tinier than the tiniest dot in this universe, which might ultimately be a dot in a large loaf of parallel universes. So it can be safe to assume that no matter how wide and far your imagination wanders, in some corner of this multiverse, its probably happening. And maybe thoughts will travel faster than light, faster than everything that has ever travelled and something will reflect back and touch you in this world.