books · Fiction · reading · writing

A Storm of Swords #2 Blood and Gold


[Spoilers for Game of Thrones the HBO series and the books by George R.R. Martin ahead]

A Storm of Swords #2 is, according to me, the fastest paced, most richly detailed medieval fantasy fiction I have read (including the likes of Lord of the Rings, the Inheritance series and even the next part of this very series, A Feast for Crows).

The Red Wedding

In its opening chapters, Robb Stark seeks to right the wrong he did to Walder Frey when he broke his oath to marry into his family.  An occasion of celebration is turned into a Stark massacre as Walder Frey reveals how he won’t let anybody play him for a fool, be as it may the King in the North. What comes to be known as the Red Wedding did not break my heart so much because I had been expecting it (having been exposed to spoilers galore online) but the descriptions of its aftermath did. Catelyn Stark being unclothed and thrown into the waters; the direwolf Grey Wind’s head being sewn on Robb’s body. Gross, grim, sickening details but that is what Westeros is famous for!

The Hound is bringing Arya to the Twins while the massacre occurs within its castle walls. At the last minute, he sees sense enough to turn back and for some reason, saves Arya and takes her with him again. Its easy to realise that he is not all bad, given that Arya was ready to fling everything away in order to go inside and find her mother; save her if possible (that girl is like lightning)

At King’s Landing

In those last moments before her throne is slit, Catelyn shows how she does not deserve to be the most hated Stark anymore. And if you’re thinking I am going to transfer that title to Sansa now, well you’re wrong. Sansa is married to Tryion and playing the part of the dutiful wife. Despite news of her mother and brother’s cruel deaths at the hands of the Freys and under the orders of Lord Tywin Lannister, Sansa continues to put on a brave front; putting up with Joffrey’s mocking and gently turning away from Tyrion’s attempts to comfort her. She chooses, instead, to pray.

Joffrey’s wedding to Margaery is upon us however, and unlike the sad affair Tyrion and Sansa had to get through, this union of Baratheon (Lannister!) and Tyrell is going to be a joyous occasion with seventy-seven courses being served through dinner. The dining description struck me as being written with the same sense of jest and teasing as Harry Potter feasts. Tyrion gets madly drunk and afterwards humiliated by a pantomime involving dwarfs where Joffrey is quick to jab him with cruel jokes.

However the wedding end takes a twist because Joffrey is poisoned and Cersie is quick to raise blame against her dwarf brother and his wife. While Tyrion is too slow to realise what’s going on, Sansa makes her escape. She hadn’t known about the plan for Joffrey to die but she finds Littlefinger waiting for her on a ship off the coast.

Meanwhile Tyrion is on trial against his own nephew and suddenly yet venomously, the whole court turns against him. The house of Dorne comes into focus when its prince agrees to champion Tyrion but dies in the process.

Tyrion does, however, have some friends in court and he makes his escape on the eve of his execution. As he is leaving, he comes across his father’s chambers and in a BIG yaay moment, he takes his revenge by killing the cruel man who was never truly a father to him. I was cheering Tyrion to the skies as he made off with his vengeance complete.

Sansa meanwhile, is taken to her mother’s sister’s house at the Eyrie. Eyrie is a strange, wicked place cold, cruel and godless but Sansa needs to keep her identity hidden because there is a price over her head, thanks to Cersie. And the lady of the house Lady Lysa, is possessive, fierce and out of her wits. She accuses Sansa of trying to steal stealing Petyr from her, as Catelyn had once done. Let’s just say she ends up falling a long way down.

Jaime, meanwhile, is back at King’s Landing. His maiming has changed him and you can almost start to love him until you remember; why did you hate him again? Oh yeah. Bran.

But wheras Jaime’s character is all shades of grey, Cersie is the epitome of evil, With Joffrey dead, his younger innocent brother Tommem inherits the throne.

At and Beyond the Wall

Jon Snow is fighting a fierce battle against the free people. Samwell Tarly has reached the wall, helped by a mysterious cloaked figure. So has Brandon Stark and the Reeds. As their paths cross each other, Sam and Brandon come in contact but Sam promises not to tell Jon Snow about his brother’s journey. I am excited about where Brandon’s character is headed.

Just when all seems lost for Jon Snow however, Stannis Baratheon and his fleet arrive to save the day. But at the same time they bring a number of complications for the newly crowned Lord Snow of the wall.

Daenerys has captured the slave cities of  Meereen, Astapor and Yunkai but her hold is weak and she struggles to keep her talons firmly planted. Having freed the slaves, she turns inwards to sort out her captains and facess betrayal at every corner.

My personal belief is that these characters beyond the wall are building the momentum that will sweep away the Lannisters. Be it Brandon Stark or Jon Snow, Daenerys Targeryn or Arya Stark, their revenge is in the air and let the sweet Rains of Castamere fall.

Chillingly, as the book ends, we see a  withered Catelyn has survived the Red Wedding and is back with steely vengeance in her heart. This time, she will show no mercy and the wolves shall rise with her.

Last laugh: Jaime suffering from Stockholm syndrome. Just so cute this is. Haha.

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Life · Love · philosophical

Batman


 

Maybe the winds of darkness of gathered in such a way that you cannot see how I changed. Or maybe…just maybe it was never in you to see, only to judge. Maybe the only person who can see this is me. Yes, I can clearly see what a fool I was and how unbelievably foolish I would have continued to be if someone as wonderful as you had not waltzed into my life.

Change is painful, sure. But if I could take out one chunk of my soul to show you how I changed, I wonder if you would still curse our fate so. Maybe changing somebody’s life was not on your bucket list of things to do and be proud of, but I know falling in love was. And if falling in love is this, maybe you would have chosen not to fall in love at all. But some proclamations have the power to move us. I hope this one does that for you. If we had never come to be, I don’t know what course I would have taken but I doubt it could have been as fulfilling as this one is.

Every young girl dreams of a knight in shining armor to come and save her. In today’s world, most girls seek a Mr. Darcy of sorts- someone absurdly polite. A gentleman. Others seek the punk or the rockstar.

But now it seems as if what I got was batman. In my mind you’re like batman. Silent and brooding. Perhaps not the savior the world wants, but the one it needs. Perhaps I didn’t even know that I needed to be saved but you came and did it anyway.

So the thing is, these questions may be haunting us (though  I wouldn’t want them to) and perhaps who you really wanted to be was Sherlock, but I’m giving you Batman instead and there is a sense of justice in this knowledge for me. I hope being my Batman can make you feel every bit as powerful and invincible, yet human as I want you to feel!

Uncategorized

A Storm of Swords #1 Steel and Snow


[Includes spoilers for both Game of Thrones the T.V. series by HBO and the books by George R.R. Martin

I finally succumbed to the temptation of wanting to know where this story was going. A true reader’s heart can never really stay in a movie or a T.V. series while the books remain unread! Motion pictures might add colours and life to characters; give faces and features to names and bring locations to life but nothing does justice to the depth of a story the way books do. Having said this, unfortunately, I will need to add that the reverse may be true too (the movies that come to my mind are The Devil Wears Prada, P.S. I Love You), but its rare- very, very rare for something on screen to surpass something on paper.

I must say though, Game of Thrones is doing an exceptional job of keeping up with the series, even doing better than the original in places. The power of the scene in which Dany Targeryen conquers Astrapur for one. The book did not do justice to it; and I strongly suspect that the show is going to overtake the beauty of the capture of Yunkai in much the same way.

But characters have come alive for me- Jon Snow on the show has failed to make an impression but in the books he is three-dimensional! Always loyal to his brothers on the wall, living and breathing with the wildlings but wanting nothing better than to run away and torn between his feelings for Ygritte while wishing she would stay away from both him and the war she was letting herself be drawn into!

Tyrion Lannister remains Tyrion Lannister as always. But I suspect this has more to do with Peter Dinklage, than anything else. He is my favourite character on the show and in the series. When I read his parts in the books, I read them out in Peter Dinklage’s voice, laced with that same sense of tragic irony, self mockery and sarcasm that his character possesses abundantly, along with a kindness of heart and soul which makes him endearing to me.

‘On my honor as a Lannister’ he says to Sansa, ‘I will not touch you until you want me to.’

‘And if I never want you to, my lord?’ she asks.

‘Why, that is why the gods made whores for imps like me’ he says.

Arya is Arya-both in the book and on the show. Headstrong, brave, stubborn and lovable. I hope George R. R. Martin doesn’t decide to kill her. Sansa I still do not like but I feel sympathy for her, of course.

Jaime Lannistar’s true story behind the title of Kingslayer makes me like him almost as much as the way he treats Brienne did. Cersie is beyond likable, of course, so is her father Lord Tywin and reproach for Jaime over pushing Bran is not likely end anytime soon.

Bran comes to life in the books as well. His fears and determination come to life as do his uncertainties and his existence through the eyes of his direwolf Summer. I really don’t want anything to happen to the Stark children who remain, because I have grown fond of them all (and yes, I know about Robb and Catelyn).

All in all, an extremely satisfying fantasy adventure though if it had been left only to my imagination, the characters would have come out differently from the way they did on the show. But its too late to erase and rewrite faces in my head!

Life · Love · Music · philosophical

For the First Time


Love can feel old sometimes, it can feel burdened. It can feel the heat of time;trying to bend it, gnawing at its threads or trying to break it apart.

But this song talks about hope and love in a way that will make it seem new to me always. And then I know I can feel this way forever, unchanging and unafraid through eternity.

Love never is about giving up. Its about embracing the salty truth (as well as all the sweetness) in the same way you would embrace the salty taste of sea in a breeze on the beach on a summer night. The ocean may scare you in the dark; with its vastness stretching across the horizon, covered with the mysteries of the sky, but you cannot stop loving it; loving the moon for shining the way it does and illuminating the water in its glittering silver light, loving the sand texture beneath your feet, loving the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore, feeling your transcendence each time it washes away your footprints. And yet you walk on because all of it together is making that moment worthwhile!

Because your love can always feel new and exciting to you, no matter how old and established it is. Just like this song. 🙂

She needs me now but I can’t seem to find the time,
I’ve got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don’t know how,
How we got into this mess
Is it god’s test?
Someone help us ’cause we’re doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we’re gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven’t for a while
A while, yeah,
We’re smiling but we’re close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we’re meeting for the first time

 

-For the First Time, The Script.

PS: This song is probably my most favourite song of all. Maybe because of what it says or because of the memories attached with it, I don’t think I can ever stop loving For the First Time! ^_^

Ayn Rand · reading

Philosophy: Who Needs It


Here is an essay that I wrote for something else entirely. But now that it has served its purpose, I thought sharing it here would be a good idea. Based on and derived from Ayn Rand’s lecture from 1974, of the same name. You can find the original here. And the following is what I wrote:

As human beings exposed daily to vast amounts of information which we must sift through in order to make decisions pertaining to our day-to-day life, the one aspect of existence we often tend to ignore is our essential need for philosophy. Most people will undermine the importance of maintaining any interest in philosophy by wishing to focus on the more ‘concrete’, ‘practical’ problems of existence but that is where their beliefs are flawed.

Ayn Rand argues against the prevalent notion that a person can function successfully in life without philosophy, by reminding us that all our actions are derivatives of a set of principles that we have established. As babies, every stimulus we are exposed to extracts a new response from us, since it is new to us. But with time we tend to collect our various experiences and out of these ‘concrete’ associations we develop a set of ideals and principles which then become our guiding lights for future actions.

Consider this then: how baseless is our assumption that we don’t need to deal with any abstract ideas when all our practical knowledge automatically integrates itself into something that collectively becomes our philosophy for life? And should we allow random influences to give rise to this philosophy or should we prefer to approach it in a systematic fashion by understanding various philosophies and approaching one that lets us live in the most fulfilling manner?

We must remember that our conscious mind leads to the generation of emotions and anyone who lets these emotions overshadow his capacity to make rational decisions is blind to the world. And everything that our mind furnishes is influenced, in turn, by our inner philosophy.

Young minds are easily mouldable but it is also extremely hard to ask them to do their own thinking- after having dismissed philosophy as a useless science, they are gullible enough to seek answers in wrong places. Through the surrender of their individuality and their urge to belong, they are in danger of giving up their moral autonomy to anyone capable of taking advantage, such as the character of Ellsworth Toohey in The Fountainhead.

So before we completely dismiss the importance of philosophy we must understand that our basis for decision-making and action-taking is a result of philosophy itself and if we do not take an active interest in establishing the foundations of this philosophy, it will arise on its own in a haphazard, chaotic fashion. But we will never be able to escape from its influence. So, for the strengthening of our minds as well as for self-protection, the study of philosophy becomes essential.

Ayn Rand says that if all the sciences of the world are trees then philosophy is the soil that holds them together and nurtures them. By asking ourselves: Where am I? How do I know it? What should I do? Philosophy provides us with the most fundamental questions we require when we embark upon any journey; hence it forms the foundations of life.

Uncategorized

Mother’s Day


My Facebook newsfeed is chock-full of Mother’s Day posts and wishes. If we have to have just one day to celebrate our moms, so be it. But our moms celebrate us every day of every year. They breath life into us, bring us into this world, teach us about love and about caring. They teach us to trust and to be loyal. They teach us the value of having a kind heart. They tell us stories and encourage us to make our own.

Love is a strange thing. It can come and go and nobody knows when it might die away and when it might erupt again. We cannot measure love but it still exists in degrees: a little, a lot, strong enough to die for, strong enough to kill for,uncertain, unrequited- love’s existence in this world is a thing of wonder and a thing mathematics cannot quantify. Yet a mother’s love should be the measure against which all others should be compared. It is the most powerful, everlasting, unchanging, staunch, unbending love there is.

And this feeling cannot be understood until you hold in your arms something that existed inside your own body. There is an inexplicable kind of beauty on this magic which defines a mother’s love. 🙂

 

Fiction · Life · Television

Back Home!


Today was my first day of the summer holidays back home. It feels great to be here after a long spell in college. I know I am going to be tired of being cooped up; maybe I am going to start feeling the monotony soon enough but for now, it feels just great. Like no other place in the world can compare to home.

I was discussing this with a friend the other day. Home, for us, at this stage of life, lies wherever our parents are. No other place can be called home-even if it is your hometown. People who have belonged to one place might not understand this the way we nomads do.

And though the days are hot, the mornings here are just wonderful-very cool and pleasant. Soon, it will get unbearable due to the heat and we will retreat into the artificial AC air and hide behind our walls whilst global warming continues to disrupt ecosystems beyond our houses!

Currently reading: A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking.

Currently watching: Game of Thrones! They came out with a beautifully haunting episode involving a chilling death (chaos is a ladder, not a pit) and a long, treacherous climb resulting in one of the most spectacular panorama this show has ever seen. Jon Snow, I am with you! ^_^

 

Ayn Rand · books · philosophical · reading

The God Delusion? -My Take


 

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Ever since I was a little girl, I have wondered about God. I have prayed with my mom, watched people perform little rituals and wondered, perhaps in ways that even many grown-ups don’t, whether any of these little things that we do in the name of God are ever up to any good; wouldn’t it just be better if people just did the kind of things that God would appreciate? Like show kindness and compassion, be sincere and good-willed and hard working instead of donating to a temple or going inside one and observing rituals only to go back out and break every rule that God seems to represent. I noticed, early on, that God is more of an industry than an honest sense of ethereal peace and love inside our hearts. I don’t know why I turned out this way so young; maybe it was because I have loved to stare at the night sky and think about the millions of stars out there and everything they represent. Either way, from since I had my senses about me, God became to me a personal sense of rational judgement. Faith? I have always had blind faith in life’s ability to bounce me back up every time I fall- and it has never failed me so far. But I have also wondered how people who suffer from great personal losses continue to believe in an entity that is supposed to save them.  I have justified this to myself by telling myself that there is a reason for everything and we all have our moment of enlightenment; even if we reach it on our deathbed or just before the light is extinguished from our eyes.

Where all this is leading is that I recently read Richard Dawkins’  The God Delusion; a book I really enjoyed. I am probably not in a position to appreciate everything written in it; and while I agreed with most of it, there were parts of it where I couldn’t agree with his arguments.

Religion and Faith

I agree of course, that the socio-cultural aspects of religion that are haunting our world through the likes of terrorists and fundamentalists, need to be discarded and done away with. It makes NO sense for people in today’s world to fight wars over Mesiahs and sons of God who may or may not have existed a couple of thousand years ago. It makes no sense to fight over religious texts which are interspersed with fascinating stories of events that science cannot support. And yes, if in the future we can come up with satisfactory physical and biological laws and proofs to support these tall claims, the science community wouldn’t be close-minded enough to dismiss proof the way religious fanatics do, when it doesn’t fit in with what they believe in.

Which brings me to the topic of faith. It seems extremely stupid to me, as Dawkins points out -that whereas a scientist needs to support every theory with a lot of practical data and proofs before it can be accepted, religion seems to have no such prerequisite. To be sufficiently religious, all you need to say is you have ‘faith’ or you ‘believe’ in such and such Gods with an air of condescending I-dare-you-to-question-me and you cannot come up with any retort in the face of it, because religious sentiments are too gossamer, too easily  ‘hurt’. So how then, are we supposed to believe in things which cannot be proven, just because our ancestors believed in them? Why are we supposed to have blind faith in something that nobody can prove; just because our ancient books say that it is true?

Is God for Real?

Dawkins raises questions about how he believes God doesn’t exist- and he means the kind of God who is sitting on the clouds, sorting out matters on earth and deciding the amount of suffering each individual should undergo, or the amount of atonement they require before passing through the doors of heaven; or as we Hindu’s believe- the karma of a new life (which, for some reason-which has nothing to do with the fact that I am a Hindu-makes sense to me because the possibilities of rebirths and reincarnations is something I cannot completely overrule. At no point did Dawkins pay special attention to this theory-except for pointing out that he doesn’t believe the soul moves on after the physical body, whether it is to go to heaven or to a new life). Well, it seems rather hard to believe that a Big Brother-ly figure is sitting up on the clouds or existing in general, all around us and governing all our moves and sending his messengers to guide us. One question which makes a lot of sense to me-something I had never thought of before, perhaps because I am scientifically a little unimaginative-is that if such a figure exists and controls the universe and our lives, then a person capable of controlling such complex phenomenon in such complex ways, has to be complex enough himself. He has to possess a complex mind, for one thing. Which leads us to the question: how could his complexity have come to exist in the first place? Who created our Creator? Because the questions we ask for our Universe can in the same way be asked for the Universe’s creator. Of course, sometimes I find it quite entertaining to believe the very plausible venture that we are, as such, existing inside a falsely created realm. A simulation, perhaps, given how nothing we have found in the universe so far is indivisible. But even if that were true, somebody created the simulation ( I imagine a huge lab with scientists wearing lab coats working continuously on universe as big as a room) and then, who created the creator(s) of the simulation?

Here, in fact, is an interesting link on Huffpost Tech offering a theory that our universe maybe behaving like a brain-a network, in which case its not hard to imagine some rather interesting possibilities along the lines of us existing as a brain inside someone else!

Religion and Evolution

Dawkins explores the origin of religion through both, historic as well as Darwinismic means. Since my religion has never been in direct contradiction with the theory of evolution, I have never first-handedly experienced any dogma relating to this particular aspect the way Christians do. To me, evolution is and always will be brilliant and Darwin more so for coming up with it (though I never successfully finished reading The Origin of Species). It was interesting however, to ponder upon why we, as a race came to need religion in the first place. Was it because we needed a moral code of conduct to guide us through the generations? If so, why do we need to be good at all? As a spin-off from evolution, Dawkins argues about the need to be good perhaps in order to encourage altruism within a community-in order to preserve a set of genes. Because during evolution, genes fight for self-preservation. That would mean siblings and closely-related communities would develop a sense of protection towards one another in order to protect their genes.

Dawkins also explores the evolution of memes in much the same way as genes evolve–in a environment best suited to cultivate them. And he talked about the concept of Zeitgeist- how we move forward through the ages to a point where Hitler, if you really compare him with someone like Genghis Khan, might come out looking like the better man to our modern eyes.

One of the most interesting facts about this book was the Cargo Cults of Pacific Melanesia and New Guinea where the original inhabitants were so impressed with the presence of huge ships and planes bringing in cargo while their supervisors sat back on seats doing seemingly nothing but observing ‘rituals’ such as ruffling through sheets of paper and making people march up and down in long lines, that they built a whole religion out of it. Fascinating indeed, but more than that, it is terrifying in a way if you think that all the suffering in the name of religion could have its origins in a culture that grew out of something just as silly!

God Consoles- Why I Need SOMETHING to believe in, even though it feels like I am my own psychology experiment

Dawkins talks about the need for religion. One of the areas which I don’t think he touched satisfactorily was explaining how we can get consolation without religion. It is true, that for many people-including me- God is just a means of self-comfort when I am really sad and crying and don’t have anyone to talk to. Since I am emotionally weak, it makes me feel secure to think that I have a friend out there who is listening; to whom I am important enough and my petty problems worth the trouble. It is making me sad to have to question whether this ‘friend’ could just a voice inside my head. And that is the only real sense in which I need religion-not because I need to want to have a higher purpose for my existence but just because I cannot bear the possibility that I am completely alone in this cosmos; that I arose from nothingness and will go back to it without having a helping hand to ease my transition through the unavoidable.

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When I was small, I read a story about a little girl called Lucy who discovered a secret door in a tree behind her garden. This door led her to a world of fairies and imps and elves who told her stories, showed her magic tricks and made her delicious scones to eat. One day she decided to share the secret place with a friend; when she took her friend to the garden however, the door was gone and so was all the magic. Returning to her room, Lucy cried and cried for days and felt silly for being laughed at by her friend. Then one day, all her magical creatures came back to her and told her that her friend couldn’t see them because she didn’t have any faith! And they only appear in front of people like her, people who believe in their existence and have faith in them. The next morning, she went back and the door was there again. She went in and found all her magical friends waiting for her. After that, she always continued to visit them in secret and never forgot to believe in them.

I remember this story fondly. I even spent some time looking around my own house for a similar door and telling myself ‘I believe in magic, I believe in magic.’ But it is so sad that a beautiful childhood story like that which taught me to have faith, can suddenly feel like its crumbling to pieces. Because every time I think about having faith, I would find myself wondering why. And no rational argument in the world would explain why exactly I should have faith in something that has no proof- why is it considered so ethereal and wonderful to have faith in something-just anything-that is unexplained (especially when we know there are hundreds of different kinds of faith in the world; Muslims destroyed Hindu idols and consider it childish to worship ‘pieces of stones’ whereas we are equally likely to find it quite incredible that a virgin could give birth to the savior of the world) but to have faith in something we can easily prove can still be questioned, condemned, boycotted.

In the end, I am starting to go back to my earlier conclusion regarding ‘God’- a conclusion Dawkins couldn’t shake. Something that came to me during reading Dan Brown’s books and later when I began to indulge in Ayn Rand’s objectivism- the real powers to love and live and create and be powerful exist within US. We might be a teeny tiny dot in one corner of the universe, but this earth has been given to us somehow and we have been gifted with the powers to create and dream and exist. So our ultimate reasons to exist should revolve around happiness in this life. You love someone? Do it for yourself. You want to be kind to a stranger? It will make you feel good. You can create something wonderful? Do it for the satisfaction. You want to work hard? Do it for the sense of fulfillment.

 

Uncategorized

Trust and Candid Nights


Today was, in some ways, an eye opening experience for me. When your friendship with someone reaches this new kind of level, you know you have transcended above the normal friends place- you’ve become more, because as adults we find it harder and harder to trust people around us and when we do find someone like that, we let them in slowly and cautiously but once they’re through, you know the person who broke down all those walls has to be worthwhile. 

Having a friend like her has greatly influenced my past year because, in so many ways, she has made me a different person. I can laugh and forget about the reasons for my sadness. I can look at her and enjoy her display of silliness. 

When I lost some friends, I didn’t realize how much of a good thing it was! The silver lining of those clouds wasn’t clear to me because they were surrounding me so. But now I see it so much more clearly.

People can be horrible. Most people are guarding selfish secret motives and wielding weapons which enable them to advance through the games of life-and I have never felt like the kind of person who could easily play mind games. But losing some people for whom I was just a pawn in their long-term investments was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And I wouldn’t have lost these people if somebody hadn’t been stupid enough to let go of me. Because I find it very hard to let go of people who are close to me! I usually just wait for them to do the letting go. 

And if I hadn’t moved on, I wouldn’t have found myself sitting here writing about trust. Knowing that this sense of mutual trust that I am feeling is really good for me because the person I am feeling it towards is full of good and practical advice. Not only that, she values me as more than just a bargaining chip or a commodity to be exchanged-she values me above and beyond the petty politics that people (read: girls) are likely to play-politics I have no foreboding senses to judge. And in many ways, she balances me.

What strange ways life has and how completely drained I feel tonight, so capable of emotion and yet with absolutely nothing to feel!

The candidness of this night will make me smile for a very, very long time.  Because I never saw friendship in this way. I never saw trust, learning, ambition and respect in this way. 

Life · Love · Poems · Uncategorized

I Forgot to Have Fun


I was playing in a sandbox

On a beautiful, sunny day

I was chasing a butterfly

Down in my garden all the way

I was laughing and I couldn’t stop

Because you tickled me so

And then I grew up and forgot

to have fun the way I used to know

 

I was listening to a cassette

On our old, dark cassette player

I was reading out the story line-by-line

I loved Karadi’s voice in my ear

I lay on the bed; kissed you goodnight

Because you loved me so

And then I grew up and forgot

to have fun the way I used to know

 

I was riding on a scooter

Sandwiched between you two on a tiny seat

An outing meant some hours in the fresh air

And something yummy to eat

I would clap my hands gleefully

Because you gripped me tightly so

And then I grew up and forgot

to have fun the way I used to know

 

I was playing when it rained

Splashing about in puddles on the road

And my tiny world was so pretty

No reason to be bored

I was perfectly safe forever

If only things hadn’t changed so!

But then I grew up and forgot

to have fun the way I used to know

PS: These are some of the FEW few things I can remember from my earliest childhood days in Ahmedabad. I don’t know why I thought of this tonight; but this poem simply came into my head and made me sad. I wouldn’t mind going back into that time zone; when I was tiny and my world was complete because of my mom and dad and everything was so simple. Ah well, things die.