What Did I Just Watch? Dexter Season 8 Episode 9

Seriously. You’re telling me that Oliver Saxon is Vogel’s long-lost, psychopath son who is suddenly BACK in Miami on an apparent murdering spree?

You guys had NO clue, I wasn’t just the innocent boyfriend, did ya? Haha, gotcha

I mean, you really expect me to buy that after seven seasons of watching Dexter, when you introduce a new guy and then murder the girl he dates, I wouldn’t even suspect that he isn’t as innocent as you make him appear for two episodes?

And that the moment the police get on his trail, he clears out of his rented apartment, leaving a trash can full of his stuff conveniently outside his door for Dexter to find, with an envelope reading OLIVER SAXON, and then he just waltzs back in to meet his mama and then he moves in with her after nearly thirty years of her not even knowing that he’s alive?

And that Miami Metro does not find it suspicious that Cassie dates someone for two weeks and then ends up dead. They just let that person move around freely, without investigating, for starters, how long he has been employed at the place where he says he works

And also, you’re telling me Dexter has suddenly, for no reason, on the impulse of one moment, decided to get back together with his ex-girlfriend-cum-poisoning-husband-killer who has murdered every man she has ever been with? And not only is he back with her, he is also going to (yes, hold on to your seats), move to ARGENTINA with her and uproot his four year old son?

That’s good TV. I applaud you, writers of Dexter. You’re pulling the strings in such magnificent directions that you’ve surely ATTAINED your objective now. You’ve got me WISHING for Dexter to end as soon as possible.

With THREE episodes to go, you would expect a chilling sense of anticipation, of building suspense and excitement from a main-stream show that’s  been on air for seven and a half years, stars a great actor as its protagonist (antagonist?) and has had some amazing story lines (think the Ice Truck Killer and Trinity). But no.

What’s happening instead is a disarrayed, hastily put-together, very predicable and cliche, flaccid, loophole-filled limp to the finish. By this point, unless the writers of Dexter have something PHENOMENAL up their sleeve- and by phenomenal, I mean, blow-my-mind-stop-my-heart-move-my-soul spectacular- Dexter is going to be a DISAPPOINTMENT.

A showdown with Vogel’s son involving a cross-fire with a few deaths thrown in for good measure will just not be good enough. If this show ends with Dexter dead, Jaime Batista and Vogel killed in the cross-fire, Debra back in Miami Metro and Quinn and Debra walking into the sunset with Harrison in toe OR with a close-in on Harrison taking up from where Dexter leaves off after Dexter and Hannah are killed in a trailer and Harrison is made to watch, my eyes will BLEED.

I’m done putting Dexter theories out into the universe now. If something twists and turns, let me know okay? Otherwise I’ll just be back next week with more rantings about how bad Dexter has become.

I miss the Rita days. To me, nothing was ever cuter on Dexter than her. And yes, that reminds me, she had kids. They should be around for the finale, perhaps? Or are we expected to forget they even existed, like Dexter obviously has? How can Dexter just move to Argentina! He should be taking care of them! He was responsible for their mother getting killed.

PS: I feel like I didn’t even cover half the things bothering me about Dexter right now but never mind that!


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