What do you even know about me?
What have you attempted to discover?
Little snatches of broken conversation
Drifting upwards like melody
Spiraling through the tightly coiled fears I hold in my chest
Falling apart and coming together again
In a melancholic orgy of bliss merged with exquisite pain
Is it enough to let these whispers guide you?
Or would you attempt to break me further apart
Sifting for colors swirling within
Lifting my existence upwards like your own
That is what I would want.
Is that what you would grant me?
I can’t build a castle this way.
I need firm hands to steady mine
I don’t need hollow selfishness; I need so much more
I need nurturing, like a babe in his mother’s wound
Will you smother me or soothe me?
Will you coerce me or tighten your hand around my wrist
And take the tentative first steps with me
Like a toddler learning to traverse the breadth of a living room
Breath and flow away
If you have nothing better to share
Than temporary solitude and anguishing memories
I want fire.
I want to rise like a phoenix, you see
And then fall back into the darkness.