I thought staring and staring and staring at my laptop screen would fill me up with ideas like a sock on the morning of Christmas. But no, things don’t quite work that way.
I had a brilliant idea for a last post for 2013. And a brilliant idea for a first post for 2014. I was working on it. I really had things figured out. I was going to research, for crying out loud.
Well, it looks like things didn’t quite work out, did they? So I thought I’d explore some options last night and write a wrapping up post for the year that was 2013. But then my brothers poured in and we got to talking and we had to order pizza and we had to do it right then, before the rush started. So we hurriedly placed the order and spent an hour watching a lame movie about a guy who falls in love with a girl but is killed by a rich dude who is another contender for her affections. This guy then comes back to protect her, after being reborn as a common housefly. Ugh. Thankfully we switched to a better movie at 9 pm but this was still one of my good new year eves of the past six years. How pathetic am I?
Well, what I did like was that it was just an intimate family affair. That felt very, very good to me. More on this later (see resolution 5)
Then today, I thought of this gem (Ahem! Shameless plug alert) :
Oh and then I decided to follow it up with some new year resolutions. Of course.
So this post wasn’t meant to be about that but I’m going to be a bit of a hypocrite and do it anyway:
(1) Will try to make this year be more about doing and less about thinking. Am I going to succeed at this? I doubt it. I recently re-discovered (and I say re-discovered because I had known but forgotten) that this no-action-multiple-thoughts syndrome is heredity. I get it from my family. It runs through us, in our very blood and bones. In our DNA, self-replicating and reproducing. Yup. So my resolution is going to be to try and beat the genes. I don’t really think it’s possible to do this but I shouldn’t say that. That’s just more thinking. Never mind.
(2) Never compromise on my writing. Writing isn’t a chore, it isn’t a waste of time. It’s a hobby, yeah but one day I wish to see it sustain me. That’s my big dream and has been since before I could write. I mean, I didn’t even know it then but it was right there when I was trying to write my first ‘A’. I was meant to be a writer. Maybe not a brilliant, successful, published bestseller (though who knows). Maybe just a regular old blogger or a columnist. Maybe none of these at all. Maybe all of them. Anyway, the point is I want to keep writing. I don’t want things to get in the way of that. I have let it happen before but resolve to never make that mistake again. Writing is often an erratic spoilsport (ask anyone about the writer’s block- everyone knows). But I didn’t just buy huge black-rimmed glasses last week for no reason at all. I want to be able to deserve having them pushed up against my nose, blocking the borders of my vision.
(3) Keeping in the spirit of writing, I resolve to venture further along the dark paths of my brain and pull out stuff- I don’t know what yet. I don’t know how good it’s going to get. Or how bad. But I’ll figure that out as I go. At least while I’m blogging, I’m going to keep providing heart-felt content, in one way or the other. Anyone can tell you how the only true work is the kind of work you give your heart too. We’ve all heard this mantra. We all know it. We’ve just got to see it and be it.
(4) And to be an adventurous venturing writer, I’ll need to back myself up with good content. After all, you are what you read. So. I’m going to resolve to read better content. I try to keep a check on what I’m reading but I’ll have to work on that. The world of words is a big labyrinth and I need to keep my GPS turned on at all times.
(5) And I discovered, I’m going to let it be okay to be just me. I’m a book lover. I cannot bear loud music; I can’t go to concerts unless they’re the acoustic kind. If you’d call me up at midnight and say, ‘So this the plan. Get your ass out here, we’re going to have a marathon through the city streets, like, right now’, I’ll say no. And I swear this wouldn’t have much to do with the fact that as an Indian girl, I cannot really afford to be seen in the streets after 10 pm. And though this has never happened to me, hey, I might have friends cool enough to have a midnight marathon!
Just kidding, I’m going to let it be okay to think of things that aren’t conventionally cool, working out as cool for me. Glasses, heavy books, lazy afternoons in the sun, staying indoors on a Friday night and yes, a New Year’s eve with my brothers, watching a funny movie on TV.
I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to keep up with any of these resolutions, though I think I can stick to some of these. And like always, the 1st of January wasn’t quite a smooth ride for me. My new years always start on slightly sour notes. But that I am used to.
It wouldn’t be the first of January,
without teary-eyed me
Oh I’m gonna let it be cool to cry as well. And to write lame poetry too. Roger that.
Happy New Year to anyone who read this 🙂
And to people I love who don’t care to stop by my blog too. I still love you if I love you. 😛