A perfectly fine spinning driedel-
I watch it speed through my dreams
A glimpse of finery; something special
As though someone has drawn up my life for me
Making me watch from a distance as I
Seek to explore the nature of what I behold
A poorly painted, faded impression
Or a precious child’s untamed hand at work


A daring game of Russian roulette
My fiery, fueled heart watches breath-taken
The unrequited coquettish charms of tragedy
Laced with charm I strive so hard and fast to win
Making me cry out from a distance as I
See the unmistakable chips fall right into a pattern
Deadly- should I seek to erase it
So I stand catatonically waiting for it to stop


An unending blitzkrieg of cruel questions
I watch in a sickly stupor, stilled by time
The agony of feeling these minutes tick by
As though something brilliant awaits the execution
Making me tremble with helplessness so exhausting
There is no room for ecstasy to be a part of it
I wonder if this is how life is supposed to feel
Or am I slowly drinking through a vial of poison


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