Ruined


My suffering narrowed the breadth
Of expectation. Of experimentation
Like a child needs her mother; too afraid
To venture into the world of bullies
The world of giant rides
I too need those swinging, protective arms
While my independence lies locked up
In a little box in the basement. You see
You’ve ruined me for all men

I thought I saw the world with the wonderment
Of ebony-eyed possibilities
But you throw shards of glass at me
And they sting my skin like bees
Incapacitating me; my various possibilities
Die like a bundle of netted fireflies
Black turns to red around my irises
And I become partially blind. You see
You’ve ruined me for all men

I question the bloating of my body
I follow the bumps along my skin
I journey with the deepest fears in me
I turn towards the sunlight, accepting
Of everything it throws at me
But my foundation is eaten by termites
It wobbles on the verge of collapse
I believe in its triumphant ending. You see
You’ve ruined me for all men

I must carry this in my leaden chest
Because blood rings true and I love you
I run at signs of affection
I run with the waves of conflict
I curse your past for bringing me here
Every time I try to rise I’m pushed off my feet
Because in this terribly exquisite world
Where all I want is a sliver to call my own
You’ve ruined me for all men

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2 thoughts on “Ruined

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