Accompanying song:

I’m alive now; it took

The colluding of a million stars
Into a mesh of gossamer cloth
Worn thinly like an autumn shawl
To protect me from hearsay

And I only asked once:
Why were fireflies buzzing above
The deep basin, darkened by
Something that fed their veins;
Before collapsing, bitten
Or was I almost dead?

And then I saw those stars
Carrying stories of the past
It was a small consolation but I
Can carry it for another fifty years (I think)
And then I shall go out of vogue too.

Why- Are My Atoms Still Aligned?

Like a smoker I stare
At the swirling, rising cloud
Of turbulent haste
In circles of grey-
In reluctant sweeps of fingers
gesturing sullenly; the nails
chipped and broken
from powdery insinuations
Caught like lint in the cracks

And think- why?
Why is this emptiness not
All-engulfing, all-penetrating?
Why am I entitled to a niche of air
Why– despite every breath
I take to put an end to these
Vibrant, disturbing colors
Swimming dangerously before me-
Are my atoms still aligned?

On this Bed


On this bed

Was I
To die
Awaiting a summons
That never came?
That gorgeous call
Of a future that enraptured
My imagination;
I breathed the fire
of horses; the smell
of heat singed my
hair, my arms
my intestines.
But the ecstasy was unmatched,
the horror unbidden but broken
by the dare
A foreign landscape that
grew magnanimously
into a tale of
sorrow. Heartbreak.
Was it all
I was waiting for?

And on this bed
with its mouth
wide open,
was I to tie
myself to something
part dream, part
sudden, solemn, sickening

Midnight and Beyond


The dull grey vacancies of midnight
Swallow me whole, pin me within
A horrifying dimension unexplored
Except by the gaping eye of my storm

I am lead by ribbons tied to my arms
The weight like armor; like chains of gold
Like an insomniac’s call of desperation
Which grows and grows and grows

Until yellow light from down there
Pierces home, both here and afar
And in the distant land of memories
Float flat conversations that never were

The cold rivers sweep me, born anew
I rise a mummy from her centuries-old grave
The tongues that lash are pink and fresh
But the rest embroiled in deja vu

The dawns are jaded, silvery blue
And sparkling in a mystic dew
But my heart is laden from the pit-less light
From the dull grey vacancies of midnight