Kr(r)ish 3(2)? A Movie Review.


May contain spoilers. IF you care.

Mad scientist Kaal (Vivek Oberoi) funds his weird experiments in his search to find a cure for his paralysed body by freeing a potent and deadly virus into some of the poorest countries of the world and later getting the WHO to pay up the money for the antedote. When he decides to send his virus to India, just for the fun of seeing which of India’s many ‘Gods’ will come forward to save the day, he finds his wrath tested against the scientifically progressed mind of Dr. Rohit Mehra (Hrithik Roshan) and the pure buff of his superhero son Krrish (also Hrithik Roshan).

India’s badly in need of a superhero. And what better place to start one off at, than Mumbai, India’s version of Batman’s Gotham City and Spidey’s New York and the Avenger’s oh-who-cares? Yes here are the prerequisites for making a superhero:

1) It should appeal to kids! This is definitely the topmost priority. If you have a superhero, kids have to hang on to his every word. Use cheesy lines such as ‘Burai main takat kitni bhi ho, uska antim sanskar hamesha sachai se hota hai’ ie. paraphrasing of ‘good triumphs evil’.

2) The superhero should be living in a city with huge buildings that he can jump off and crash through and protect from falling once the bad dudes start to pour in.

3) There should be a lot of science-y stuff around. And by science-y we mean recreate Professor Charles Xavier’s laboratory, and put your mad/mutated scientist in a wheelchair. And include telekinesis. Always include telekinesis.

3) There should be some awesome back story involved with some sort of mutations and the hero should suck big time at his day job! After all, how can you expect him to do well at it when he’s busy saving kids who stupidly get tangled in electric wires while trying to rescue a trapped pigeon they spotted from their balcony window while trying to do their homework? Such diligence. Someone has to do the dirty work. And then someone has to tell the children not to try and copy the superhero stunts.

4) Ample background work for creating franchise merchandise! Even if it’s a cheap ₹ 30 Krrish friendship band that they’ll try to sell off for oh I don’t know ₹ 300 maybe? Add an extra zero and parents beware. And oh, there’s always that mask that the superhero has to wear to protect himself from being identified. Don’t worry if the mask is just covering your eyes and nose because nobody and I mean NOBODY will ever put two-and-two together and figure out your real-world identity even if you’re the person who coincidentally always disappears when the bad guys enter and even if your height and built and everything else matches that of the unknown savior.

Nobody will know who I am now! This mask is the best disguise EVER. You can’t see 60% of my face.

5) Plenty of super-hero cliches. These include but are not limited to shape-shifting creatures, sexy evil women in skin-tight latex, villains with a messed-up childhood devoid of love (preferably related to the superhero and in stark contrast to his goodness), large laboratories where these villains carry out wacky experiments, amazing villain game-plans which involves taking over and controlling all of humankind, the prettiest miss-goody-two-shoes-damsel-in-distress actress who’ll always get kidnapped or get into trouble or get attacked by villain(s) hence making her a huge liability to her superhero boyfriend/lover/husband who’ll have to then suspend saving the rest of the world in order to save her.

Well despite all the short-comings of Krrish 3 (why 3?) and all the cliches, I’m happy there’s a Indian superhero for kids to pick up from now. I mean, children  won’t wonder why Kaal didn’t directly kidnap the doctor and use means of coercion to get the truth out of him and his daughter-in-law instead of going the round-about-way by sending his skin-changing Kaya to pose as the wife and gently coax out the secrets and in the process fall in love with the hero. They also won’t shake their heads in derision at the way the movie created a love story for this mutated abnormality just so the actor could get to kiss two actresses and have an extra song, shot at scenic locations, pushed in unnecessarily. Nor will they find Dr. Rohit Mehra’s ‘scientific’ explanations lacking all science. And they’ll love Kaal the super villain’s suit which was made up of spare metal scraps

Jokes aside, for me the movie’s positives included everyone’s acting, Priyanka Chopra’s continued presence in a movie culture that loves replacing its actresses (the way Krrish replaced Preity Zinta by killing her and hanging her photo on a wall with a garland on it), the way they tried to merge in the prequels, especially Rohit’s story which was very different from the direction the franchise has now taken and the ending. Yes, there’s more of Krrish coming up. And hey, if we’re indulging in a ‘desi’ superhero, I’ll put my money behind this dude. He’s a looker and he can protect Mumbai if he has to. Less cliches and more original ideas next time, please! And better songs. And less of that sentimental exploitation. I agreed with Kaal when he said ‘You emotional fools!’

Krrish ek soch hai. Hum sab main Krrish hain. Krrish is a thought. We all have a Krrish in us. Nice try, but no thanks!